Dating in this day and age can be both a adrenaline rush and a nightmare, mostly because everything is behind some type of device so you really don’t know if your going on a date to get murdered or cat-fished. Rarely do dates via tinder or bumble end up being a “match made in haven”, however I have heard a few love stories come of it but this one, is not that. I had tinder for awhile and it completely made me think chivalry was dead to say the least. Talk about a app filled with with “lonely” (and we all know what I mean by “lonely”) boys trying to find a Friday night fling. I went on two dates off of tinder. The first guy was so sweet, however after the first date I received a overwhelming amount of text messages telling me he was falling in love with me…. red flag. The second tinder date was so far from his profile picture it was incredible. He must’ve used a picture taken in high school, because he was almost unrecognizable…red flag.
After my complete fail at the the tinder dating scene, I decided to give bumble a try, do not knock it till you try it people because I loved it. It’s the same concept as tinder but the girl has full control over who is able to message her, no random “are you DTF?” messages in the middle of the night. I honestly have had a few great dates off it and a few red flag dates, but the thing with this whole “app” dating is anyone can say anything because they are behind some type of screen. I had a guy text me after one date saying that he hated my perfume and it made him gag, after chalking it up to boys are idiots he continued to show his true colors. Dating is terribly hard these days, we, don’t want to do it, it is like pulling teeth to get some of my friends to just go on just one date. Since when did dating become this hard. My boyfriend right after high school called me up, asked me on a date, picked me up, took me to dinner and a movie and dropped me off at home, my ex fiance did the same thing, he even opened the car door for me.Now being single and dating it seems to be a whole new game. You can’t tell how people feel because everything is done through messaging. We question every little thing…
“Why did he type with a period rather then a exclamation point? He must not be interested.”
“It’s taking him a really long time to reply… he is probably talking to 5 other girls.”
“I sent him a kissy face emoji and he sent a smiley face emoji back… why didn’t he send a kissy face emoji back?!”
It’s too complicated. Guys if you want to date…. date. We are always excusing boys behavior always saying “boys suck”… “boys will be boys” …”its just a guy thing” why are we giving them an excuse, a free pass to be immature, rude, and disrespectful. Let the boys be the boys I guess but i’m looking for a man. A man who will call me, a man who will pick me up , plan a DATE, and drop me off without expecting anything else. A man who will text me after he has dropped me off and tell me what a great time he had, a man who doesn’t think one DATE will qualify him, a man who knows that the first date went well and plans a second date not a “Netflix and chill” and no…. it’s not unrealistic. I have dated two guys who did all these things. We have allowed men to have the excuse and we have settled for “hey come over for a movie”.
I told you all that we need to be pursued and I feel like a hypocrite…well I am a hypocrite. I say we need to be pursued but i’m the only one out of my friend group scrolling through bumble. It’s so obvious why I haven’t found anyone. because i’m seeking everyone else but the one who seeks me. God. I am going to continue to get burned because I keep blatantly playing with fire. So if there is any advice I can give.. even though I may not always take my own advice… it’s don’t seek people to fill a hole that God is waiting so eagerly to fill for you, don’t say boys will be boys because that’s not true, know your worth, know your loved, and stop settling for all the excuses we give to ourselves, our family and our friends. Maybe boys will be boys, but i’m looking for a man.